I realised that I have neglected you.

Sorry. 

Someone at work brought you up in a conversation the other day. I've almost forgotten how much I love writing and how sometimes I would revisit my blog to write about my amped up feelings towards people...you know?      towards life.

I guess you could say I have been treating life with care and it has been greatly fair to me - most of my amped up feelings ends up being voiced to my dear one. We can all agree that the need for a virtual expressive voice gradually died down and now I subtly regret it.

I sit here, next to my beloved - who is busily working from home, I reminisce. Lovely flashbacks of high school days.. also attached with it the inevitable bullying and insecurities...embarrassingly followed by a mild eating disorder. I know..

Love makes you do crazy things, its cliche I know. But ever since I've met Martin I've felt the unexplainable - if you ever get the chance to meet him he'll tell you about times I've been mad at him for absolutely nothing, times I've been as stubborn as a mule and an unreasonable human being. Yet he stays.

I've spent most of my life subconsciously being a person I thought others wanted me to be. Individuality isn't something you can express, you see. Sometimes you mould yourself into what you think society prefers and then you wake up and encounter that one moment. That one moment where you think you'd rather be at home painting the clouds in the sky and not deciding which pair of shoes would go better with your clubbing dress.


I think I like who I am now.